klpegaso
Joined: 25 Jul 2007 Posts: 217 Location: Tmn Melawati
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Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 12:31 pm Post subject: Some more.... |
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1.
A woman is at home when she hears someone knock at the door. She goes to the door and opens the door to see a man standing there.
He asks the lady 'Do you have a vagina?'.
She slams the door in disgust. The next morning she hears a knock at the door and it is the same man and he asks the same question of the woman 'Do you have a vagina'?
She slams the door again. Later that night when her husband gets home she tells him what has happened for the last two days.
The husband tells the wife in a loving and concerned voice 'Honey I am taking tomorrow off to be home just incase this guy shows up again'.
The next morning they hear a knock at the door and both run for the door.
The husband says to the wife in a whispered voice 'Honey, I'm going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you to answer yes to the question because I want to see where he is going with it'.
She nods yes to her husband and opens the door.
Sure enough the same fellow is standing there and asks the same question. Do you have a vagina'?.......'Yes' she says......
The man replies.. 'Good! Then would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife's vagina alone and start using yours'!!!
2.
A woman puts an ad in the local singles paper. Her 3 requirements are: a man who doesn't beat her, won't run out on her and must be good in the sack. Doorbell rings, she opens door and looks down to see a guy with no arms and no legs. He says he's here to answer the ad. She asks how he possibly can meet her criteria. He says "well, I have no arms so I can't beat you and no legs so I can't run out on you" She asks about the last requirement. He says "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
3.
A nice story - will make you appreciate family . . .. however for most of us, it's too late!
My grandmother died in the 80s, but her birthday is coming up, and that always causes me to reminisce.
The long walks we used to take to the store in town, the quarters she gave me for meaningless jobs like pulling weeds or washing the sidewalk...
Those gems were all good, but the one I remember most, the jewel in the crown of grandmotherly advice, occurred when I was only about 13.
We were sitting in a park having just finished collecting some 40 soda bottles for the deposit money on a beautiful spring day.
She told me that one day, I would find a wonderful woman and start my own family. "And always remember this thing," she said. "Be sure you marry a woman with small hands."
"How come, Grandma?" I asked her.
She answered in her soft Scottish voice. "Makes your dick look bigger."
Kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?
4.
Indian Chief, "Two Eagles," was asked by a white government official,
"You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars
and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the
damage he's done."
The Chief nodded in agreement.
The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your
opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"
The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then
calmly replied. "When white man find land, Indians running it. No
taxes, No debt, Plenty buffalo, Plenty beaver, Clean Water; Women did
all the work, Medicine man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and
fishing; All night having sex."
Then the chief leaned back and smiled. "Only white man dumb enough to
think he can improve system like that."
I think I'll stop here for today............ _________________ What? Me Worry? |
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